i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
