Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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