We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
