Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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