Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
