In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
