I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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