She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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