I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
