people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
