I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
