pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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