So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
where are my eyebrows?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
