North Korea, Best Korea!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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