I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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