Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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