as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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