Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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