Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
