i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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