How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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