I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
