Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
