I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
