I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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