You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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