Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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