if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize