I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
