Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
