So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
