I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
