i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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