I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Why did my mother make you get naked?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
