help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
