I think I died a long time ago.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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