You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
