The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
