But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
