I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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