I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Randomize
