The brown eye won't let me do that either.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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