I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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