What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Someone came in the potted fern
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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