This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
