Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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