in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Someone came in the potted fern
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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