I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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