I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
