he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
