need another drink. this is the easiest way
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
