once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
