you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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