Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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