He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just invented taco cereal.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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