If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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