Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
