We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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