I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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