Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
