maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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