in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
