you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
