Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
