I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
