i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
