P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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