is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I cut my penus on the lid.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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